


Food Fight

by Engineer104



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Food Fight, Gen, More or less plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 16:04:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1516634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Engineer104/pseuds/Engineer104
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a free-for-all during lunch, something right out of that one game where Link can beat up Mario, but with food as artillery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Food Fight

**Author's Note:**

> So if this is crap, I sincerely apologize. I wrote it about a year ago when I was dealing with Season 2 finale feelings (RIP Wally), and my writing, well, it sucks sometimes (or all the time).
> 
> Anyway, enjoy
> 
> And if you liked it, you can hit me up on tumblr: stereotypedebunker.tumblr.com

It all began on an ordinary day at Justice High School for Superheroic Teenagers.

The students were gathered in the cafeteria to eat, while a few teachers supervised.  Aqualad drank his fifteenth glass of water, Kid Flash ate his fifth hamburger while Nightwing and Artemis looked on in disgust, and Superboy murderously stabbed his mashed potatoes with his plastic spork.

Suddenly, a ball of potato flew through the air, and everyone watched, transfixed as it seemed to splatter, with super-slow motion, on the back of Superboy’s head.

A cry rang through the air:  “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

And Superboy stood up, holding his spork up like a sword.

“Who did this?” he bellowed, pointing at his potato-ey head.

No one said anything, but anxious glances were exchanged, while others were laughing quietly.  Aqualad looked alarmed, Nightwing guffawed, and Miss Martian was horrified.

Then someone yelled, “FOOD FIGHT!”

And the food began to fly, as fast as Superman on a windless day, or as fast as the Flash if he could, you know, _fly_.

Nightwing flung a biscuit like it was a Batarang, and it hit Batgirl square in the forehead.  Aqualad sucked the milk from a cartoon and swung it around like it was a water-sword at Lagoon Boy.  Miss Martian, half-cowering and afraid to get too dirty, telekinetically pitched a granola bar at Beast Boy.  Artemis shot sporks from her miniature bow, taking out Arsenal and Red Arrow.  Superboy lugged hamburger patties all around, and one smacked Wonder Girl full in the face.

Everyone was soon dirty, and laughing, enjoying themselves, even if they were on the floor, basically KOed.  That is, everyone except Kid Flash.

“That’s it!” he said angrily, speeding around everyone and snatching whatever food they had from their hands.  He came to a stop in the middle of the cafeteria.  “This is a disgrace!” he cried.  “It’s a pathetic waste of _perfectly good food_!”  But unfortunately for him, he forgot that there was plenty more food left on the table.

Everyone still standing flung potatoes, patties, buns, biscuits, fruit, milk, and anything else included on the food pyramid at poor Kid Flash, but they don’t call him Kid Flash for nothing.  He was out of the way before any of it made it, but even Impulse was not fast enough to evade what was meant for his cousin.

Eleven people were still standing, however, and not one of them was going out without a fight.  Hamburgers flew as fast as Batarangs, and both Nightwing and Robin got ketchup in the face, but only Robin looked like he was bleeding too.  Blue Beetle fired his cannon at every biscuit fired his way, but Kid Flash’s aim was just too fast, and at last the kid looked like he was enjoying himself.

Zatanna enchanted milk cartons to upend over Aqualad’s head, but she chose the wrong Atlantean to mess with, and realized it when Aqualad sent the milk washing back over _her_ head.

Artemis turned her bow-and-sporks against Rocket, but Rocket had already turned on her force bubble, and the sporks bounced off harmlessly.  Then Miss Martian, using her special phasing abilities, appeared _inside_ the bubble from the floor, and Rocket received a face full of potatoes.  The force bubble clicked off and Miss Martian and Artemis high-fived.

Superboy faced off against Guardian, but the helmeted warrior only managed to hit Superboy with a hamburger before Superboy let loose a storm of squashed grapes.

At last, only six were standing.  Nightwing clutched an improvised Batarang and took aim for Superboy, Kid Flash was poised to flash away, Artemis held bow and spork in hand, aimed at Aqualad, who brandished chocolate milk-swords at Miss Martian.

But before anyone else could fling food, the door to the cafeteria banged open, and in stepped the scary, imposing P.E. teacher:  Black Canary.

Her footsteps echoed across the room as all six young superheroes dropped their food-weapons and prepared for the wrath of Black Canary.  She had a ruler in hand and was menacingly smacking it against her other palm.

“Well, well, well,” she said, “I never would’ve expected it to be you six starting this mess.”

“We didn’t,” five of the six chimed in.

“Uh.  .  .” said the sixth.

The other five turned to stare at Kid Flash, who looked very bedraggled with potatoes and grapes, both mashed, stuck in his hair.

“You started it, Kid Flash?” Black Canary asked.

“I so did not mean to,” Kid Flash said, putting his hands up in surrender, while Superboy glared at him.

“Of course not,” noted Black Canary.  “You just flung the food that started it.”

“You make it sound really bad.”

“Oh, it _is_ bad.  Now, all six of you, come with me.  We’re going to the principal’s office.”

And all six teenagers trooped after Black Canary, out of the cafeteria and down the hall.  Artemis and Superboy shot glares at poor Kid Flash, while Nightwing said, “ _You_ did this?  But you _love_ food.”

“It is definitely ironic,” Aqualad commented sagely.

“Whatever,” said Kid Flash dejectedly.

At last, they reached the principal’s office, and Black Canary herded the six inside.  “Here they are, Batman,” she said.  “I’ll leave them at your mercy.”

“Thank you, Black Canary,” said Batman in his throaty growl as she left.  He then looked sternly from sidekick to sidekick, his gaze lingering on Nightwing.  At last, he said:

“It seems as if you have passed our test.”

“ _Test?_ ” all six said in unison.

“Kid Flash did not throw those potatoes,” explained Batman, “but we made him think he did.  Congratulations.  You are now the Teen Titans.”

Nightwing snickered.  “That’s the corniest team name ever,” he said, while the other five simply gaped, flabbergasted, at this sudden opportunity.

“You have my permission to decide on a less corny name, Nightwing,” said Batman.  “Now, you should all probably get cleaned up.  Goodbye.”


End file.
